how to Not get into a healthy relationship
by Xu Lu
Summary: Getting a pretend-boyfriend to win over the heart of your crush has never been worse. (rinlen centric, onesided rinku)
1. jan13

Life goes on fine and all before your boyfriend grabs you by the shoulders on Friday evening, keeping your body pressed into the nearest empty classroom and forcing his tongue into your throat until you can't breathe. Others might've thought it romantic, or maybe adorable that you have someone that can't keep their hands off you for a single minute and that it's something you should appreciate until the end of time.

I find that illogical.

Idiotic. Stupid. Absolutely not anything close to lovely.

I never _wanted_ a boyfriend.

But somehow that didn't happen. It all started at the beginning of the year when these girls from the neighbouring High Schoolー Osoka, or something like that, _my older sister attended there tooー_ were talking about relationships. Lily was naturally great friends with them and had drug me into her bedroom one evening to have some heart to heart during their sleepovers. I never wanted to do that either.

Not that I had enough guts to refuse. They were obnoxiously scary, with their perfect brows and wing liners and fingernails painted a perfect crimson red. ' _You have to do this while you're on your period to keep all the wandering spirits away.'_

Um. _Right_. No thank you.

"Hey, Rin, do you have a boyfriend?"

It was _that_ question that struck a chord within me. _No_ , was the right answer. I wasn't looking for one and you won't be finding me latched to a boy's arm anytime in the near future. Not even because I dislike the mere thought of relationships, but also the fact that boys are _gross_.

Yes. Those of the male gender. That XY chromosome. I've never liked them before, and I will never ever like them. Rin Kagamine is very much a homosexual, this is _not_ a phaseー yes, I'm looking at you, neighbourhood auntie that always gossips about other people's children and goes on and on about how her son is doing well in Med school: I am _gay_.

Gasp. Cue silence, clicking tongues of disappointment.

Not that anyone knew.

But I like Hatsune Miku. No ー I really _really_ like Hatsune Miku. Lily's friend who's a year below her. Sixteen, cute, perky and bubbly and everything nice enough that I could get just a hug from her and I'd be happy enough to die in those arms until I turned into a rottened carcass and fell to merge with the sand. Miku is cute, and when she's the one asking you that type of question, with those deep green eyes that lure you in, there's nothing else to do than to whisper a strangled, "Yes."

There was a round of applause. Lily looked positively bewildered that I hadn't told her about this, about the recent update in my love life, and all these older girls were suddenly hounding me on details about who he was, what grade he's in, what school he went to, et cetera. I only winked and left without a reply, making sure the plans for my next day was properly mapped. Seem like a loser to Miku? No way. I won't bring my dignity down in front of a beauty like that. My school is segregated into two sections. Boys and girls, in two different buildings ー the majority of students belonged in the former and as sexist as this type of splitting orientation existed in the twenty first century, I will say that I admittedly like it. Boys aren't allowed to step a foot inside the girl's buildings, though girls are allowed to roam each and every section as much as they want. _Though I've never done that._ Like I said before: I hate boys. Dislike them. Maybe even _loathe_ to a small extent.

Until that day I steeled enough courage, _marched in,_ felt each stare as if they were looking beneath my skirt (they weren't, really, but my paranoia.. does... things) and closed my eyes with an arm reaching out for the nearest body in reach.

"What the ー"

"Please be my boyfriend!"

I _hate_ myself.

My hand immediately shot back in red-handed embarrassment and when my eyes opened, I met the sight of narrowed oceans glaring back at me. Oh no, oh _no no no_ , this is how my life ends, I'm going to die by the hands of a middleーschool boy at the age of fourteen just because I wanted to look cool in front of my crush. I deserve to die.

It wasn't until my gaze searched for the nearest window to jump off did my hands get snatched into a pair of wider ones ー and those narrowed eyes gleamed bright almost like they'd held a million stars.

"Yeah! I've always liked you ー um, I've been noticing you for a while! I mean, uh, of course! Yes!"

I felt the life drain from my soul.

.

.

.

.

And now we're here.

It's been two _months_ since then.

A boy is touching my boobs. Actually touching them. Not a side graze or a stare, but I'm actually suffocating inside his mouth while he's got me seated over his lap, arms forced around his neck. Oddly, I still don't even know his name ー a trivial matter, because I won't be seeing this guy anytime soon but there's still that horrible reminder that I've got to be the one to end things. I'd hoped he'd get tired enough and dump me after a week of kisses on the cheek and slow occasions of hand holding.

He didn't. Instead he'd progressed it further; moving soft, slight pecks to full drawn out make outs where my breath ends up smelling exactly like his afterwards (green tea and mint) but I hate green tea and mint. Not to mention he's constantly trying to hold me, rubbing his hand above my shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist... it's _disgusting_.

And those stupid other boys in his class were so proud. Oh, he finally has a girlfriend, how amazing.

"I think I want to go further.." He kissed my chin, below my jaw, and right at the curve of my neck. "Will you let me?"

Hell no. But he looks so much like a lost puppy, I can't help but feel my bottom lip tremble and allow a weak "...Nn-nhhhh," In protest.

Not that he cares.

"A teacher is going to see. I don't want to be caught..."

"It's okay. Nobody ever comes in here. You can relax, Rinー I'll make you feel good.."

Little does he know that _nothing_ can feel good when a boy is touching me. I feel like crying. But I've got to be strong. I've got to do this for Miku. It's only a matter of time until she finally turns my way and when she does, we'll let out both our emotions in a storm of sloppy wet kisses that are niceー unlike this boy's dry onesー and we'll hug and kiss, and kiss, and kiss some more until there's nothing left to do but be together in the sweetest of ways.

The only reason I'm still with him is because Miku likes boys. And that's why I have to learn from him ー from an actual one, until I get enough information to _please_ her like one. Only a little while longer and she'll prefer me over anything else.

My knees fold above his lap, and there's hardly a minute that passes before his fingers fly to my chest and he's beginning to unbutton each snd every thing that keeps my shirt intact. The cloth falls below my shoulders and his cool breath is tickling my ear now, but that's alright. It's always going to be alright. Just as long as I imagine he's Miku, and this is both of us doing this, just us. Me and her, and there's no golden-haired boy that finds pleasure in massaging my rear until it turns red and sore.

This is exactly why I hate boys. Perverts.

My hand clings onto his own. "Wait. Wait," What's his name? "Um ー baby.."

The nickname must've worked well because he looked up at me again with those eyes that looked so lovey-dovey, and his hands stopped trying to climb underneath my skirt and rub at the hem of my panties. Good. This is good.

"Baby, I don't want to do this here.. it's going to get so messy.."

"I love messy." He cooed.

Oh, you little shit.

My hands dug into his light tresses and I kissed the top of his head, hearing something that felt like a purr from his chest, all the while pretending it belonged to a similar green-eyed beauty and I was merely untangling the knots in her pigtails. That was enough to make my heart pound.

Apparently he'd loved that.

Enough to pop open my bra clasp and suckle on one of my buds.

I couldn't help but gasp. "Hey! Hーhey! Don't do that!"

"Mnn..." He only closed his eyes and batted those thick lashes, pouty lips stuck on my flesh without a care in the world. "Hn."

My chest ー exposed for the first time, to a boy, no less, and they're already being used. I can't help the shiver in my shoulders, especially when he'd rolled a stiff nipple along his tongue and suckled desperately, as if he'd manage to get something out. "Not so hard! Don't bite!" I'd gasped, in tears, feeling some sort of pleasant heat in the core of my stomach from the gesture. This is purely for Miku, right, Miku. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be an inch close to my breasts. "What are you doing?!"

This was supposed to be a game.

He was supposed to be a make-believe boyfriend, we weren't supposed to go through anything beyond holding hands much less kissing. Now this was going too far.

When he'd leant back, a trail of thick saliva coating from my nipple to the tip of his tongue, however, I couldn't help but shiver inside.

.

.

.

.

"Hey, Rin!" She was here again. That beauty, standing by the kitchen counter while Lily popped a marshmallow through those nice lips and covered her pretty mouth. "You're home late. Club activities?"

I felt my body redden. Everywhere.

It's a bit bothersome considering how I'd just wanted to get into a bath and wash all traces of his mouth off my breasts until my skin felt raw, but now, seeing her here, I didn't even want to leave. But it wouldn't be right ー having the trail of someone else's mark on me when the only reason I had it was for her.

It's alright. I'm coming for you.

"Yeah. Yeah, club activities." I responded quietly.

Don't worry Miku. It'll be just you and I soon. Just ー just wait for me, and let me improve for you.

* * *

Shameless Smut Fic, with first person perspective hell . Probably like, ten chapters (this will be predominantly RinxLen, Miku's going to appear less and less lol)


	2. mar12

I ended up with an absolute pervert. I swear, he's probably hornier than the average high school boy and _that's_ saying something.

Excuse _me_ for not being a raging pubescent male filled with testosterones and the desire to stick my dick into every single thing I see, but it isn't anyone's duty, _especially not mine,_ to open my mouth when you say your penis hurts. _Apparently_ he was under the misconception of how having a girlfriend equalled to free blowjobs because that was the _last thing_ I expected him to tell me in the deserted gym room after school.

But also, me being me, I bent to my knees and let him do as he wished.

Not because I wanted to, but I had to keep him satisfied about being with me so I could continue my research, and Lily and all her other friends seemed excited that I had a boyfriend so that's why I didn't want to let everything down quickly. Not when _Miku's_ talking to me more than ever now. I think she's finally acknowledging me, and not even as _her friend's little sister_ , but a friend of _her own._

At least, that's how she addressed me when we went to her cousin's ice cream parlour and he didn't recognise me from their usual group.

That's right. Not only did she actually invite me out on one of their hang outs, but she actually introduced me to somebody. _Me_.

Back to the point: I sucked a boy's dick.

I still have no idea whatever the hell his name is, and at this point it'd be more than horrifying to ask, but other than the complete lack of his respect I don't think I regret it that much. I actually giggled a little at his size when he unzipped the front of his pants and pulled out the entire length.. _until_ he forced it through my lips and it started growing on my tongue. That part was slightly worrying. Him holding onto the back of my head and forcefully thrusting his hips down my throat as if I was some vacuum cleaner didn't help much either.

And then there was the taste.

Gross.

Yeah, gross. I'm not going to lie and sugarcoat anything because semen tastes _awful_. I thought it was pee at first and immediately after he reached release, my mouth pulled away and spat that cream all over the floor without hesitation. And then after that I couldn't face him anymore so I stood up, grabbed my bag, and left as quickly as I could. I think I cried myself to sleep that night, wallowing in disgust and self-pity, before making a resolve to avoid seeing him again at all costs. The only problem was that when I went to school the next morning, he was waiting right outside the school gates ー wide blue eyes and all, almost like a lost puppy.

"Rin, why didn't you return my calls?"

"Rin, why aren't you talking to me?"

"Rin, why won't you _look_ at me?"

Shut up, shut up, shut up _, it's obvious enough, isn't it?!_

He's cornering every single path I walk, and it's a struggle to search for the nearest shortcut into the girl's side of the school. Everytime I do so little as leave that boundary for even a _minute_ however, his legs rush at the speed of light and come flock over like he's a pigeon and I'm that lonely old lady that comes to the gardens everyday to throw breadcrumbs on the ground.

It's scary. He knows everywhere I go, and exactly when I'll be there.

Some people need to learn to get a life, namely Him. Even my own _parents_ don't harass me this much in a day. He's driving me crazy.

I rinsed my throat with mouthwash ten times this morning and brushed my teeth until my gums bled and I had to gurgle salt water to heal it back to as how it should be. He can't just come bouncing in and expect me to be his willing plaything. I won't let anyone in the world do that to me, _especially_ a boy. Never ever.

.

.

.

.

"Sweetheart, there's a young man waiting at the door for you!"

"Tell him to wait, daddy! I haven't put on my lipgloss yet!"

"No, not _you_ , Lily dear. I meant your younger sister. Rin, come on, it isn't polite to make a guest wait!"

I was enjoying a much awaited weekend lounging topless on my bed while blasting music through one earpiece when the conversation was heard. My older sister was in the next room over, presumably preparing for a blind date with some college boy while Miku and Gumi ー that's another one of her friends, green eyes, pretty lips, _and her mother makes the best shephard's pie in the world_ , ー were accompanying her in choosing an outfit.

I could smell nail polish through the open window and crinkled my nose. They didn't invite me to join them, and although normally I wouldn't mind, it's a bit saddening to think that the only way I can feel that beauty's presence is through listening to her voice on the other side of this paper thin wall. I didn't even get to greet her today.

She's laughing about a joke. How cute. Ooh, now she's talking about her favourite clothing brand.

My father's impatient downstairs, yelling to the ceiling again. "RIN! I'm telling you, there's someone at the door!"

"Coming!"

I grabbed a fresh singlet from the drawer, not bothering to put on a bra. It's likely nobody important anyways. If it's really a boy, it's probably the delivery post or one of our neighbour's children expecting me to return the game that I borrowed from them three years ago. Even if it _does_ seem a bit odd that dad wouldn't bother to address them by name. Maybe it was a trick to get my ass away from the bed faster than I usually would.. he's always restless whenever there are people around, especially on his days off.

My hair is a mess, looking like a broken stack of straw, and my body limps all the way down the staircase until my eyes are met with blinding valor blues, honey gold hair, and the entire body of my current boyfriend.

 _Oh no,_ oh hell no, how did he figure out where I lived..?!

There I was, _looking and feeling like something that crawled out of a train wreck_ and he was staring straight at my chest. My chest that is covered by something that is white, see-through, and sticks to my skin. My chest wearing something that my parents never would've bought had they known it would be as thin as this. _My chest that is better off wearing nothing at all,_ because then it wouldn't stress the fabric so obviously that it shows everything.

The boy licks his lips, and I gape at him speechlessly.

Well I mean, I can't blame him either.. he's _sucked_ them before.

I hastily spin around to make sure my dad's not watching ー _and thank god he isn't,_ preoccupied with pouring himself a mug of coffee whilst mentally preparing questions to harrass this kid with ー before I grab the frail teenage arm and rush upstairs with him in tow. Only that my movements are stopped halfway when I notice three pairs of eyes peeking at me through an open gap of one of the doorways.

"Oh my god, she actually has a boyfriend ー"

"Lily! _Shhhh..!_ "

There was the quiet, beautiful giggle that followed, and I didn't have to doubt nor question whose voice it belonged to.

The _other_ thought comes to me at the wrong time. The dirty little satisfaction that if _he_ can easily see my breasts like this, then so can _she_. So can Miku. I have to force myself to think straight and turn the other way, forcing our feet back down the stairs and whispering to lead the way to his own home.

.

.

.

.

" _Baby_ , what the hell were you thinking?!"

As embarrassing as it is, that's the only way I know how to address him.

It's alright because he seemed to enjoy it, pouting his lips in a way that he must've hoped to be cute. "You wouldn't talk to me. I had no other choice."

This boy's house is small. Really _really_ small; think, my own house divided by six, with only two bedrooms, and each hall to a doorway can only squeeze one person. His living room and kitchen is combined, and there's no dining room in sight. The television likely wouldn't fit had they not hung it up on the wall.

The size of his own room can only fit one bed and a small desk that's crowded with workbooks and his monitor, layers and layers of notes and schedules decorating his door. At first I felt rather pitying but when I consider how he lives in the capital city, _right in the heart of town_ , with a literal two minutes walk from the main rail station..

 _His family is filthy rich._

There's no doubt about that.

If they'd just sold this _one_ apartment, they could probably buy fourteen pairs of houses in my area.

I'd always been proud of living in the suburbs but now there's that greedy little demon inside me, rearing it's head, jealous of him for living that comfortable (not really) luxury city life. I want to steal his soul.

He was pretty nonchalant about it all too. We had to walk fourty minutes and take two trains just to get here, and he acted as if it was a walk in the park. He also acted possessive in public, forcing his jacket onto my shoulders and zipped it up to the collar while managing a firm grip on my hand all the way. But once we reached the comforts of his own four walls, that caring personality did a complete whiplash and that nice warm jacket I got to wear was tossed into some unseen godforsaken corner of the room so he could ogle at my nipples.

"Young lord? Your tea is ready." A warm-looking woman with shoulder length brown hair peeks in with a smile and sets down a tray on top of the small table beside his bed. "Please pour some for your friend as she wishes, I've prepared both brown and white sugar.."

My mouth was left open in shock as she bent down into a bow and promptly left the room. "That ー oh my god, was that your _maid?_ "

Enough of living in the city, he can even afford the funds to have _service?_ I don't think I've ever really met a rich kid before.

I mean, sure, we go to a private school but the tuition fee is relatively affordable ー enough that my parents can work comfortably without risking their own healths in return for my education. There's plenty of other recommended academies in the country.. unless he's an idiot and can't get in the upper prestigious ones without a good score.

Our headmaster _did_ look the type to accept bribery, with polished black shoes and expensive suits.

But then, anybody else could accept the same thing.

He shut down my concern quite quickly, though. " _What_. No. That's my Mum." Before I could question further, he passed me a cup of tea that's already been stirred with sweetness and forced it to my lips. "She's only treating me like that because apparently I'm a 'spoilt prince' for failing my English finals. Wants to make me guilty, or something, like she's working hard to pay for an ungrateful brat."

"Ahhh.. interesting parenting. My mum would take off her belt with no questions and whip me until she's sure the lesson was learnt."

"You think she hasn't already done that? My ass is still sore."

I giggled for an entire second before turning solemn when that boy suddenly cups both of my cheeks in his hands and sneaks a smooth peck on my lips. It's actually quite gentle, and I'm still stirring, but it doesn't change the fact that I still had his throbbing member in my mouth just a few days ago and that the fact traumatises me to wit's end.

When he stands up to lock the door, I knew that I made another big mistake by leading myself into this trap.

Him, being the stupid typical boy that reeks of filthy pheromones, does not notice my discomfort at all. His hands go to the belt that keeps his waistband together and slowly loosens it so he can bring his crotch exposed to the chill air, with that excited _member_ bobbing straight in my face.

 _To think he had the audacity to ask why I was ignoring him._

I want to run and cry into Miku's chest and beg her to hold me right now.

Especially when he raises both of my hands and forces it to circle his waist, landing them straight on the smoothness of his arse. And my boyfriend grunts softly when I squeeze the flesh hardly until it becomes a rosy red.

What a masochist. "But you know... you touching it can make it all better, even with just a few touch and kisses.."

No way in hell am I ever doing that.

 _Or so I thought_. But I still open my mouth, letting him shove his tongue onto mine once again while we fall back onto his bed and he forces me to go through another session of heated embrace.

.

.

.

.

I come home late at night, nearly eleven in the evening, and I can see my father seated at the computer ー no doubt having not realised that his youngest daughter had been out for nearly the entire day. He was immersed in editing an article for their magazine and I had to tiptoe my way up the stairs so he wouldn't notice my sneaking around before his midnight rounds of checking the rooms to make sure his children were in bed.

That old man makes a fuss whenever he sees me downstairs just to get a glass of milk. There's no winning with him.

I'm dead tired when I'm finally on the second floor, staring emptily at Lily's closed door and imagining the sight of Miku sleeping in there peacefully before I make my way into my own bedroom to fall onto a welcoming mattress.

I practiced a lot of kissing tonight. I hope _she_ likes it when we finally get to do it together.

Just the two of us in our shared cocoon of love and warmth.

My mind goes back to _that boy_ and the amount of his skin that I've seen. I think we've gone far enough, I'm afraid that with this fast pace he's setting, it'll only take a little while longer until I'm expected to give up more of my body. _Sex_.. no, I'm not ready for that yet. Still, he doesn't ever wait for my response and that moment could very well pass in the blink of an eye when I least expect it.

Ugh, I'm shivering, just thinking about it... disgusting.

Hopefully Miku won't mind.

it's for her sake, after all.

* * *

Yikes.


	3. jul13

Miku's sleeping at our house tonight.

 _Miku's_ sleeping at _our_ house tonight. Mine. I can't stop squealing into the nearest pillow, kicking my legs into the air, as if everything would reveal to be a dream the moment I stop.. that means, I never will.

She'll live in the room next to mine for an entire weekend and there's no doubt we'll be running into a million of different situations. Like movies in the living room, or having a late night snack together in the kitchen, where I'd be able to introduce her to appetising snack combinations she's never even heard of before.. maybe have her walk into the bathroom while I'm taking a shower...

I was sinking in silky smooth reverie when there was a knock on the door. I'd been hoping to see blinding teal eyes, maybe after hearing my squeals to ask if there was something wrong that she could assist me with, but there was only disappointment when the gap instead revealed less enchanting cornflower blues.

The owner seemed relieved to see me here.

"Hi, Rinnie.. you don't mind if I borrow your room for a bit?"

One of Lily's closer friends, _Luka,_ was a well-endowed.. _woman,_ with a chest the same mass as my _entire body_ and pink hair that draped the floor like silk candy.

When I was younger, I used to look up to her, following this girl and my elder sister around like an _actual_ ugly duckling hopelessly chasing after the swans. I used to want to _be_ her. She was my role model, emanating feminity and being the perfect princess idol every little girl wanted to be. I didn't know that was only because she had a designer as a mother who would fashion new dresses and skirts day by day, instead of actually being a _maiden_ living inside a castle with a wardrobe the size of our house and servants tending to every move. It's not an unwarranted guess, she'd wear something different and unique and pink each time she came over , adorning a plastic tiara (which used to look like diamonds in a child's vision) over her head.

As a six year old I always went, wow, I wish _I_ had a hundred million poofy dresses like _that_.

Now.. not so much.

It didn't take long for Luka to grow out of that phase either. By the time I was elevenー her and Lily being four _teen_ , she ditched those frills and lace for thin hoodies and ripped jeans. I _also_ visited her house one day to discover she lived in another basic home within the neighbourhood like us. The castle fantasy I had came crashing down into ruins. I wasn't too disappointed in it, surprisingly.

Maybe because around that time, I met Miku Hatsune. _And when I met Miku Hatsune_ , I couldn't bare caring about anything (or anyone) else.

"What do you need it for?" I quirked a brow.

"I need to change into my swimsuit. Lily's changing in her room, and Miku's taking the bathroom ー we're going to the beach tomorrow and wanted to do some kind of flash reveal with the outfits we bought last week."

"Beach..?"

Nice to know _I_ wasn't invited.

Still, my heart thumped at the idea of seeing Miku with her toes in the sand. Luka entered the room without awaiting any permission, tossing the plastic bag she had in hand onto my bed. The contents spilled out to reveal a polkadot tight two-piece with no straps for the top.

I couldn't help but seethe in jealousy. It was too late for me to tell her to get out. Luka shut the door behind her and began pulling her arms beneath her sleeves. "Close your eyes, okay?"

Ah, no, _I remember now._ The number one reason I thought of Luka Megurine as a princess was because of that trademark _bossiness_ that seems yet to fade.

"Whatever you say, my Majesty." I huffed. _Why bother asking for permission in the first place._ There was nothing else for me to do but lean back onto my mattress and cover my head with a pillow, waiting for time to past away.

.

.

.

.

"You know, you're really pretty."

My ears must've popped.

They weren't working, no, no, they really weren't working. When I whipped my head away from the window, I expected to find a flirty smirk or wink waiting for me, but instead this boy was doing none of that, peering up towards me beneath thick lashes, as if making an important decision. It didn't take me long to register that it was his voice that said it.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

As expected, I wasn't invited to their _little beach outing_ and to avoid the risk of spending an entire weekend at home alone, the first option to pop up in my list was heading to the city for some clothes shopping on my own. And then, because my luck was cursed from birth, I ran into familiar flaxen hair and cold blue eyes that can effectively freeze each inch of skin that threads up my body. When he figured out I was walking about in public without anyone around, he snatched my wrist and pulled me back to his apartment without another word.

And when I found out his _parents_ weren't home either my mind practically went into overdrive.

I was in a bad mood, I didn't want to please anybody today and _especially_ not _him_.

He was resting on his stomach, me standing beside him by the foot of the bed, and his thoughtful look suddenly transformed into one of confusion. "You look nervous."

"Yeah ー _yeah,_ I mean.. is it really alright for me to be here?"

"Hmm?"

"Like, isn't your Mum.. coming home?"

After I said those words, his mouth cracked into a smile. I screamed at myself inside my head.

 _Stupid Rin._ Stupid, stupid, now he'll think you don't _want_ his mother to come home. You're the only one to blame if we lose our virginity tonight, you absolute idiot.

I already knew what was going to happen; he'd grab me onto the bed, throw the blanket over _both of us_ and insist on doing some explicit exchanges _faster_.

And I was right. I knew I'd be right. He sat up. Hand latched onto my wrist, pulling me onto the bed so I'd sit on his lap with my back against his chest. I was refraining from screaming bloody murder until his voice came out in a tone he _must've_ hoped to sound seductive and suave. Except it didn't. _At All._ Causing me to think that maybe it was just _me_ assuming everything the first place. "She will in a bit. I'll walk you home before sunset, don't worry." A warm hand reached out to ruffle my head.

Oh.

 _Oh._

"Wanna watch a movie?"

I bit my tongue, ".. Okay."

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.

.

His mother returned home too soon for anything to happen, and I'm not sure if I should be happy or upset about it. Considering it was right when we were submerged in absolute darkness, in the middle of watching a man being _mauled to death_ beneath a dumpster when the bedroom door burst open so suddenly that I had to let out a blood-piercing scream (thinking it was a zombie and that the film cursed me to be _next)..._ yeahmaybe I'd appreciate it more if she came _later_ rather than sooner.

It happened in the blink of an eye; my body flailing, the laptop falling to the floor after a swift jerk of my leg, and our cups filled with orange juice following suit, bouncing off the mattress to sprinkle all across the keyboard. We both froze up.

The woman took a deep breath and said, "Len _Kagamine,_ " in a very low voice, shooting more than ice up my spine.

My death was going to be worse than mauled to death.

She even called my name, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. _Len Kagamine._ Hold on, Len Kagamine?

It took me a moment to realise her words weren't directed to me but instead the young man on the floor. A stack of tissues piled across the keyboard in his desperation to keep the device safe from water but I knew it was already too late. No laptop is going to survive that high of a fall _especially_ after getting that wet, not to mention being coated in liquid stickiness that's going to attract loads of ants even if it'll be used as mere paperweight.

"This wouldn't have happened if you just _knocked ー_ " He wailed, avoiding his mother's gaze.

"What happened to our no-closed doors policy?!"

Yikes, he had one of _those_ parents.

Len was frantic. "The living room's too bright, we were watching a _movie!_ " The tissues were running out.

"I'm sure you and Fukase can handle a little bit of light that _doesn't_ come from a computer screen to avoid spoiling your eyes, young man. You think I'll accept your excuses?" The woman switched on the ceiling light. She didn't seem too happy, with deadly eyes that were identical to his. When her head snapped towards the bed, likely expecting to see that red-haired boy he often hangs around with, only to meet the sight of someone else, _namely me,_ her face paled further. "You brought a _girl_ home?!"

Yes, that's obvious considering there's something here that fills up my, _ehem,_ chest area, to show off a very prominent cleavage (see, even if this was a lie _ー which it's not,_ the fact that there's someone out there who actually _appreciates_ my breasts is very true.) Oh, that, and I don't have a dick.

"LEN KAGAMINE." My hands clasped over my ears from the volume of that shrill.

"I KNOW! _I'M TRYING TO DRY IT!_ "

I blinked a few times. _Len._

So that's his name. That's... that's unexpected. I might've expected something like Natsuki or _Takahashi_ but.. instead it's Len. Somewhat short and sweet.

It doesn't really fit him.

" _Who told you it was alright to bring a girl over?_ " Shit, this was awkward considering the girl they're _talking about_ is sitting right in the _centre of the room._ Not that I'm against proper parenting and handing out punishments when needed to, but it'd be nice if they held the scolding back until later.

Preferably when I'm safe inside my own house, under a few layers of blankets, and can completely forget about every single one of my problems in life.

"Rin! _She's Rin!_ She came over last week! I asked for your permission and you said it was okay!"

"When I'm around. _When it's broad daylight!_ "

"But it _is_ broad daylight!"

"It's eight in the _evening._ "

"Okay, so it _was_ broad daylight."

I managed to calm down my breathing and aid in passing over tissues where Len was accepting gracefully. His mother drove into the beginning of a two-hour long lecture, either ignoring or forgetting my presence, and I peeked over the floor. I regretted the moment I dared to eye the laptop.. it was an absolute wreck. Like someone had taken a baseball bat, hit it, tossed it into a blender and thrown it off a nine-story building straight into the ocean. I would've fainted just by looking at it if it was mine. There was also the reminder that _I_ was the one who kicked it off the bed in the first place.

 _Oh my gosh._

"You better not hope I tell your _father_ about this..."

I bent my head in apology, interrupting her scolding, "U-um, Ma'am, it was my fault.."

She looked up in surprise at my voice, as if _just_ remembering I was still there. _As if everything wasn't awkward as it already is._ "No, no. Rin, is it? Give me your mother's phone number, I'll ask her to get you home."

I didn't protest.

.

.

.

.

My dad drove up by the side of the road below the apartment, and I could see Lily's silhouette in the front passenger seat beside him. Len was standing outside the guarded sliding doors with sore red cheeks that'd been pinched and twisted until nearly bruised. He wouldn't look me in the eye and I was feeling completely filled with guilt until he reached out and squeezed my hand before I could towards the side of the road.

He let out a sigh. "Sorry.. she's being unfair."

My ears must've popped again. This boy.. he _really_ had the audacity to think _he_ was still in the right.

I envy his confidence. Really, I do.

The heel of his boots tapped against the ground, awaiting my response. I scanned over his entire attire. He was wearing a thick fur jacket over his shoulders although tonight wasn't nearly as cold as it had been the previous weeks, but I didn't dare question why. Whatever suits him. As long as he's not bothering me with it.

Brushing a golden curl behind my ears, I shook my head. "It's fine. I mean, I wouldn't let _my_ teenage son bring a girl over after hours.. haha."

"I would."

Oh, you would, would you?

I don't _CARE._ It took everything I had not to burst into anger but I reminded myself that the red cheeks he had right now was because of my own recklessness, _not_ his.

That was enough to make me hold in the impulse to sock him in the nose. The car let out a honk, and I waved a hand towards my family, signalling that I'd take just one more minute. Hopefully they could see me even through the fogged up windows. I finally understood his unvocalised reasoning for a jacket the moment one gust of wind blew through and bit at my skin like cold needles.

The city was _cold._

I turned to him. "Sorry about the.. about the laptop."

Len shrugged, "Don't worry about it, it was getting old anyways." Liar. That thing looked newer than every single thing I owned. The keyboard was practically sparkling. _Sparkling._ "I'll just get my dad to buy me a new one."

".. right. _Okay then._ "

Why did I even bother.

He gently nudged my shoulder with his own, and I raised a brow. "It's getting cold.. go to your car."

"Right.. see you Monday.." I took a deep breath. Forced myself to look at him. ".. goodnight?"

"Night."

Then he did the one thing I wouldn't (though should) have expected.

Leant in, as if to kiss me on the cheek.

A century felt like it passed in the moment I was frozen. But then the times came back to the present, with the city lights behind us and the tree over the postbox rustling in the air, and he remembered that _my father_ was inches away inside a metal body that could probably drive across this sidewalk and ride him over into nonexistence. That was likely all it took for him to change his mind. I rushed off the moment I was presented the chance, opening the car door and slamming it behind me. I released a wail that sounded vaguely inhumane as the car drove off, leaving Len Kagamine standing outside his house building looking completely out of place.

I didn't realise how warm and red my face was until we were miles away, watching myself in the rearview mirror. For the next few hours my dad got us lost on the roadways by following a wrong direction on the map, lecturing me about not picking up my phone and staying over late at a friend's house without permission, but I couldn't hear a single word he said.

I couldn't hear any of it.

Not until my skin would stop getting warmer.

.

.

.

.

"Len." My throat cracked. I shook my head. Tried again. " _Len._ " The light was flickering above my head and it was time to change the bulb, but I was focused on staring at myself inside the bathroom mirror, hoping this would come out sounding right sometime or another, maybe sooner if I tried saying it out more and more.

It was five AM, I barely had enough sleep, and I didn't want to have any until I was sure I was sure I sounded right saying this.

No progress so far.

Again. " _LEN._ "

No, this isn't working out at all.

"L _eee_ en..."

I threw my clips out of my hair from frustration and they fell against the sink.

There was a sudden laugh interrupting the morning silence. "Whose name is that? Your boyfriend's?" A silky voice cut in, purposely trying to tease me. I turned around, already knowing I'd see Lily with her back against the door and a coy smirk tugging at her lips but instead my guess was wrong for the second time today. I met gorgeous teal eyes that could rival the sky, and she leant in, letting me feel her cool breath on my skin. "Do it again. 'Leeeeeen', I mean."

There was laughter in her smile.

My heart melted right then and there. _That's right, Rin, don't forget who you're doing this for._

"M-Miku..!" I blurted out. "You're up early!"

"Hi, Rin." The way she said my name sounded so right. So _perfect_. This was exactly what I've been looking for.. the little bell it makes, when someone who's made for you says your name. "I didn't get to greet you yesterday.. or _two days ago,_ for that matter." Her hair was down, not in their usual pigtails, and I stared in awe as they draped over the floor like flawless waterfalls. "I was asleep until I heard your.. um, _catcalls._ "

"S-sorry..!"

My cheeks turned red.

Miku seemed to find all of this amusing. Her pyjamas were all silk, and I felt insecure standing in front of her in nothing but a cotton shirt and overlarge pants.

"Don't apologise, silly." She reached out, ruffling my head, and I couldn't help thinking about how much warmer _that boy's_ hands were in comparison to hers.

No, _stop it._

"I was in the same situation as you once." She nodded her head, thinking quietly, before an idea cropped up and lit over her face. "Say.. do you want any help with that?"

I looked up.

"Huh..?"

"Imagine I'm _Len,_ " She grabbed hold of my hands gently, keeping them safe in her own. "Imagine you're calling _my_ name."

And that was all it took for time to stop all over again.

* * *

I forgot where the _fuck_ i was going with this


	4. sep5

So I might actually be going crazy; except I'm not too sure whether I should be happy or irritated by this.

The instant Miku offered to help there really wasn't any option for me but to jump at the opportunity, because, hey, hello, when the girl of your dreams looks at you with this beautiful smile that makes your stomach churn with a god-awful feeling of longing, standing so close to you that you're able to see every freckle and dot that lines her cheeks, with her warm breath on your skin, and all around driving your heart wild enough that it was probably going to burst out of your chest...

Yes, you wouldn't be able to refuse it either. No, you wouldn't even be able to do anything but nod your head as you contain a squeal.

Except, well, it didn't last too long. Maybe about two minutes at most.

Apparently helping me didn't mean helping me _alone_. She got Luka involved, and then she got Lily involved, and in the end I had three older girls to give me advice on how to seduce a teenage boy. Even if I didn't _want_ to seduce aforementioned teenage boy. _Even if I wanted this particular teenage boy to leave me alone for good._

Fact of the matter is things never turn out the way i want them to go.

And the other two members of their trio weren't particularly helpful either.

All Lily did was sit back, paint her nails in the living room while we snacked on marshmallows, hot chocolate, bean boozled and To All The Boys I've Loved Before on the large screen, giving unnecessary input whenever she deemed fit. "You know, Mum and Dad are going to kill you if they find out you have a boyfriend."

Luka, on the other hand, wouldn't stop looking me up and down. "Rinnie, before you get into a relationship, you've really got to up your chest size."

I nearly went to the brink of a meltdown right there and then.

Luckily, being the ever-observant queen that she was, Miku stepped forwards in my defense.

"If you girls aren't going to provide any helpful insight, Rin and I are going to head upstairs to sort this out on our own."

"You'd choose Rin over Peter Kavinsky?!"

"Yes, Lily, I would." She crossed her arms before standing from the sofa, gesturing forwards to make my heart do another little leap as I followed suit. "Come on, Rin, let's go do this."

So in the end, that misfortunate event faded into the breeze, replacing romance flicks and high school girl drama with minutes and hours of talking to Miku Hatsune in my own bedroom, imagining that the relationship we were discussing had to do with me and her, rather than a boy that I just recently learnt the name of.

.

.

.

.

"Checkmate."

I moved my Knight to take his Queen, effectively blocking the path his bishop would be able to take, while Len Kagamine looked at me with all the horror in the world.

"You're cheating."

"Am not. Admit it, you just suck at Chess."

Most of my weekend was filled with the sound of Miku's laughter, the touch of Miku's hand on my shoulder, and the sight of Miku's smile. For a moment I couldn't help wondering whether I was already dead and my fourteen years of suffering on earth has finally been paid off by the gods by placing me right in the midst of heaven. But only until my phone rang, loudly, and when I tried to muffle it beneath my bedsheets it only started vibrating even more.

Of course, when the beauty looks at me as if I was committing murder, I had to bring it out awkwardly and check the screen. Maybe lie about how some creeper on the internet wouldn't stop creating multiple accounts on Twitter to message me everytime I block them.

It was too late.

She didn't snatch the phone out of my hands, that wasn't Miku's attitude, but she did look over my shoulder to shoot me an excited smile.

Len Kagamine found my social media accounts, and he was officially taking the role of _the creeper_.

She insisted I message him back, to his awkward _hello_ text and the sticker emoticon of that stupid monkey covering it's eyes, and I watched her tap multiple hearts on my phone screen as a response.

I only realised what she was doing when it was too late.

 _I invited him to your house, Rin,_ said Miku.

 _Oh my god, Miku,_ I screamed.

And that's why we spent an entire hour on Sunday evening getting me, for lack of better word, _dolled up_. She rummaged through my closet in hopes of finding something more feminine ー which, in her opinion, did not consist of ripped jeans and denim shorts. It took thirty minutes alone just to find a dress or a skirt that didn't come from my school uniform. She gave up on my wardrobe soon enough to storm across the corridor into Lily's room, where her duffle bag had been waiting.

So not only did I spend nearly an entire day with Miku, but now I was even wearing her clothes. (It smells like her. It smells _alot_ like her.)

Just in time for Len Kagamine to come in, greet my sister and her friends awkwardly at the television, scout around to see if my parents were home, before ruffling my hair in greeting.

That was three hours ago. Since then we've played six rounds of chess, and two rounds of UNO since then. At first I thought he was purposely letting me win, but seeing this boy's cheeks heat and turn redder and redder by each passing loss, I couldn't help but smile as I brought him to another game's demise.

Miku and Lily were peeking through the door gap, the former to make sure nothing went wrong and that I followed all the advice and tips she gave me, and the latter because she was a no-good busybody.

"Your sisters are pretty." He huffed, leaning against my bedpost with arms crossed. "Maybe even prettier than you."

My jaw dropped.

"Really?! Just because you lost at Chess ー "

Not that all of them even _were_ my sisters.

Only _one_ was, and as it's been proven since birth by the amount of compliments I get from our parents in comparison to her, I'm definitely a hundred times more attractive on the scale save for the lack of chest mass. I've got smoother cheeks, smoother skin, and wider eyes. On the other hand, If he said Miku Hatsune was pretty I wouldn't even be able to deny it and that thought scares me. I'd hop the train and be the loudest person to cheer in approval.

Screw you, Len Kagamine, because the only reason you're here is to give me _experience_ (and now to please Miku by showing off how obedient I am by following her orders) so that I can prepare for the real thing. You calling other girls prettier than me shouldn't affect me at all. It shouldn't.

Oh, crap, did I say _shouldn't?_ I meant _couldn't_. Shan't.

"Gosh, I didn't mean it." I felt warm hands cup my cheeks, and a nuzzle of a nose against my own. "Don't cry, you're still the prettiest. Especially to me."

"I'm not crying!"

"Oh, you aren't?"

Yes, these ー these watery eyes are only because of the eyedrops I took this morning. You know nothing, Len Kagamine.

But in reality I only sniffed in response until he dug an unwrapped napkin from his pocket and took it out of the plastic to dab beneath my nose.

.

.

.

.

Lily was fawning.

She spoke on bubblegum and curlers through her blonde locks, marathoning on a rerun of The Walking Dead, while the other two members of her friend group was sprawled on the living room carpet to snack on chips. "That was so cute! And embarrassing. I'd want a boy to wipe the snot off my nose, but I'd rather be caught _dead_ than looking like _that_."

They seem to have forgotten that the boy seemed close to throwing a tantrum just because he lost a few games.

Oh, no, toss the blame all onto me, why don't you.

"Rin. You know how I told you to act confident?" Miku tapped my shoulder.

The one thing she told me to focus on, I undoubtedly failed at. It wasn't even that hard. Just put my chin up, act as if he meant nothing to me, and carry it all in stride. In the end I became a pile of waterworks on my bedroom floor, and Len Kagamine had to actually cradle me on his lap to calm me down.

If he tells anybody at school about this, my life is over.

I looked away just as another person got mauled to death on the television screen.

"Yeah.. I'm sorry about that."

The love of my life shook her head desperately. "Don't be! I just figured this boy out. You _can't_ act confident around him."

"Shit, you don't think he's one of _those_ boys do you?" Luka wrinkled her nose.

I don't know why she's getting involved with the conversation.

She didn't care from the start. The entire time Len was over, she went inside the bathroom to complain about menstruation cramps.

"I _definitely_ think he's one of those boys." Miku darted a tongue out to wet her lip.

"One of those boys?" I wondered.

None of them gave me a solid response.

" _These boys.._ are very hard to seduce. Rin, from tomorrow on, you're coming to my house." The girl cracked her fingers above her head, teal braids climbing up her arms like a grapevine. "We're going to start up _extreme training._ Make up, dresses, fixing that sway of your hips and we're not going to stop until we get what we need."

I'm not sure whether this was what I signed up for.

But when Miku smiled at me, with those shining teeth and radiant eyes, there was nothing for me to do but agree.

* * *

i wanna move onto T-rated fics but i can't do that until this is completed, so let's try to finish this up as fast as we can.


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